What To Do If Your Significant Other Doesn't Like Hygge

Now, we can all appreciate the concept of hygge and want to bring more of it into our lives. Whether it is decorating our stair case with 400 tea lights with no regard of fire prevention or having so many scatter cushions; it’s been two days since you saw the cat. Point being, although you do not need to change any of your décor to bring hygge to your home you may want to. Living with or dating someone who does not care for hygge (Yes, they exist, if you stand really quietly in line to get your coffee and look around you, you may catch a glance of one in its natural habitat) can make your experience of hygge in the home totally un-hygge.

I won’t lie to you, the more you accumulate in hopes to make your home cosy and warm, the more you will have to clean and dust. Hygge living takes effort even in the décor department. Nothing makes your home feel less hygge than the person you love insulting the hygge-ness of it all. So, what can you do?

First, stop trying to force hygge on this poor human being. Just like you they are a free willed being with their own tastes, likes and desires. Trying to convert your significant other to the almighty deity of hygge can be a lot for someone who just isn’t interested. It is ok that you have different tastes. It doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble. It doesn’t even mean that your partner dislikes hygge it simply means, at this moment in their life what you find hygge-ifying they don’t.

Look at each room you have as blank space. Blank space made up of potential. Now split this space in half metaphorically. Without including any new items yet let’s look at what you have. Ideally the room should be in colours and textures you and your partner both enjoy. Now you will probably find that you have some hygge stuff (yours) and some items you don’t associate with hygge (his). Before you go any further remind yourself that just because they aren’t hygge to you doesn’t mean they aren’t hygge to your partner. Try to rearrange your rooms with an equal blend of each other’s things in a way that you enjoy looking at. Your partner didn’t have to be involved in the process of you hygge-ing out your home but they are in the result. This makes them feel appreciated. When they see the creative way, you have displayed their items, they will more than likely feel the hygge sensation toward their own things.

Remember when you are buying new items that you are taking them home to your shared space. Every time you purchase a new item; be it candles, cushions, rugs or a cactus, make sure your partner purchases something new too. Not only does this help with arguments regarding ‘you’re spending all of our money on some Danish fad!’ (sorry to blaspheme) but it also helps you spend less as you only get to purchase when he does and he may not want anything for a while. You can make a sensible wish list for items you want and snoop around for good deals so you don’t spend too much on impulse purchases in a shop. When you purchase an item each, together you bring more balanced hygge into the home. Once again, your partner does not feel you are taking over or pushing your opinions onto them.

Now many of us enjoy getting home from work, putting the kids to bed and hygge-ing out on the sofa, under a blanket with our lovers. But what if you have a partner who finds this activity boring? Too be frank, we can’t do anything. If someone does not want to do something, you cannot make them and it isn’t very hygge to try. You have two options. Neither is more hygge than the other and they can both be tried at the same time.

OPTION 1: Try to compromise with your partner on the snuggling on the sofa thing. Suggest watching a movie or tv series they love. You can make dinner that night something that can be eaten at the coffee table. You can create a mood that they will enjoy – not always about you! And maybe they will decide they actually enjoy the snuggling under the right circumstances. This can take time with some people that really aren’t very touchy feely so be patient.

OPTION 2: Accept that your partner does not wish to engage in this activity with you and decide to do it for yourself. So, once you are snuggly on the sofa you have a great many options as for things to do. My personal favourite is to write in my bullet journal/gratitude journal. Whilst thinking of my blessings I feel as good as I do when I’m getting a cuddle from my boyfriend. Sometimes I meditate, I find it to be a brilliant way to bring my mind to the present and literally focus on the here and now of it all. In as many aspects as I can – very hyggelightening! Anything that brings you to the moment helps you hygge out like a champ.

Though hygge can be great in a couple most people will tell you that getting hygge alone is what is most important. A way to feel content in your own company is always the best feeling. Try not to let it get you down. This isn’t a problem it’s a challenge. By approaching this carefully you can find so much more pleasure in hygge and sometimes your partner will, at some point along the way, discover they do love getting hygge. Maybe they simply didn’t connect with your idea of what hygge is and feels like.

A person can only feel the true, raw, organicness of hygge when they feel at one with their surroundings.

Freja